Crave.

I recently hung up this huge poster that was given to me months ago, and for some reason, I really love how they made it. The font, the photo, the color contrast, everything. I also bought some file folder things, and other organizational things at Target and put about 30% of my life together. Fun times.

I've been a little upset these past few days because I'm pretty sure my best friend doesn't want to be my best friend anymore. This has never happened to me, so it's kind of blowing my mind. She says she does, but then doesn't speak to me, ignores me, and literally says "we don't hang out. Guess you're just my roommate now." She laughs afterwards, but it annoys me. I would rather her tell me straight up instead of holding me by this little string. That's what she does, she gets what she wants, and likes to have control over people. Once I figured her out, that's when she started to dislike me. This is just some new version of control. But I keep telling her I'm not dealing with it anymore, so she needs to make an executive decision. Le sigh, anyways.

For the past few months, I've lost my appetite. I don't know what it is, but I was never really hungry, just thirsty. I don't like going to the doctor's so I just avoided that completely. But now, I am craving everything. Nachos, Chinese food, real Chinese food, Domino's flat crust pizza, ice cream, spaghetti, ANYTHING my mother cooks, soup, sandwiches, smoothies, fruits, cheese, anything. Too bad I'm too broke to fulfill all my cravings. 

Another thing I'm craving, is traveling. I want to go places. Anywhere, just as long as I can escape my reality for a while. When I went to Chicago this past summer, I didn't have to worry about school, homework, and best of all, work. I completely enjoyed myself for 5 days. Luckily/unluckily, my phone service wasn't too great there either, so I really didn't have contact with anyone except for a few people, and my mother, of course. She called me at 10:30 on the dot, as if she knew I was at a music festival, and that's when it ended... So weird. Anyways, I want to go to my grandparent's this summer. I want to go and shop, see my cousin that I've never met, except through skype, and EAT all the glorious food that city has to offer. I also want to go to Disney, with my "best friend" to see my other best friend who is interning there. I mean, free VIP passes, why would I say no? And lastly, I want to go to Dallas, or Austin with my boyfriend, because even though it's been over a year, he is still terribly homesick. His hometown with all his friends are too far away, but maybe I can convince them to meet us halfway? He actually hates it here, but he didn't really enjoy his life there either, except his friends. ( I suspect the crazy ex's he mentions.) But anyways, I just want to go to shop, but if I had just said that, that would make me selfish.