(bleh)

I haven't written here in so long, only because I worked extra, and my friends from out of state came in for the holidays. I always complain about having to change my schedule around to see them and such, but I really enjoy seeing them. I got to spend extra time with Juan, and I noticed some things during our silly adventure.

I think I am slowly coming out of the infatuation stage. I think he is too. We didn't see each other for two weeks due to scheduling issues, and we eventually found ourselves arguing over something so small. It's weird, being in a purgatory between these two stages. I don't know exactly what it means. Is this progression? I can't decide. Some days I'm completely infatuated and he is on my mind 24/7. Other days, I wish he would just stop texting me and leave me alone. This has never happened, and then I just get confused. Everyone says that the beginning of relationships are the best. I really have enjoyed the first three months of this relationship so far, and I kind of don't want to move on, simply because I don't know what's coming. But yeah, coming out of the infatuation stage, so that's exciting. Kinda.

I am on my A game this holiday season, because I am halfway through my extensive list of people that I choose to give gifts to. It's not my fault that I have too many immediate family members, with half of them with birthdays around the holidays too. Oh also, most of the them are children, so money doesn't really work in these situations. I only included moms, dads, my siblings, my roommates, and Juan. That's 12 people. I swear if my stepmom births another, I'm going to be broke.

I am extremely tired these days. I don't know why. It's to the point where I am slightly fatigued. At work, it's really hard to focus, because I usually have a migrane, and have to deal with stupid people. I don't say anything, because I don't want anyone to look at me with pity, a look of annoyance, etc. So I just act like everything is normal.

I've also found that school doesn't stimulate me very much anymore. I used to enjoy going to lectures, learning new things, and challenging myself. This semester has progressively made me more tiresome of school and everything that goes with it. I dread bringing my shit to class to sit there and not be focused. I just play on my phone all day. I think taking this many hours this semester really shut me down. I know I'm not that stimulated since I also bring my computer to class to not take notes. I actually made my fall post during a "lecture". Note I put lecture in quotations because to me, looking at stupid cop arrests gone wrong on ebaums world and talking about the legalization of drugs because it is or isn't legal isn't a lecture. My mind is not in your class, so I'm not going to waste time, when I could be doing something else.

I also realized that if I want to do my dream job, I am going to have to have at least 2 years experience as a cop. Lovely. My body build and structure do not equal cop. I'm not going to change my dream job, I'll just suffer for a couple years, no big deal.

yeah, my writing hasn't been so great lately, I mean I didn't even put a quote at the top of this one.