Purge.

for the next two days, I'm off of work. I got my school shiz figured out, so those days are mine. Although I'm upset because my best friend constantly laughs at my relationship because it's "cheesy", which is hilarious because she is obviously blind to what her relationship is, I'm going to start my four day purge, and give no fucks about what anyone says about me or someone I care about, ever.

By purge, I mean the following:

• clothes
• shoes
• old notebooks
• everything inside my desk
• people
• food in the pantry, and fridge
• computer memory
• phone memory
• trash
• unused items

why go through all of this? Well it's simple. I want a simple life, I want to not have anything, yet have everything I've ever wanted. I already do. I have all the materialistic things I could want, within reason, good people in my life, and good health. But, I have too much shit. I can't wait to go through this major purge, so I can start this year a new. I'm on a resolution high, since I painted my room, and already finished a book (My minimum is 12 a year.) I also want to eat healthy for a week, to do a mini detox, and to boost my immune system. Only a week though, because I have this awesome coupon for Smashburger. Also, if my life and room are more organized, with this important semester coming up, I can focus completely on school, without all these distractions. I'm also going to set up payment plans, to myself, so that I can get a new car, which is also a resolution of mine. I know it's a little late to be preparing for such things, but I'm so busy these days, and life has been extra weird and unique to me, that instead of doing what I'm supposed to be doing, I'm re telling a story to someone about something stupid, like how that guy with the nachos was trying to talk to us at that bar, while I fell asleep (that's for another post, another day).

(infatuation)

It's 1 a.m., and I'm eating my red velvet cookie from Panera. Today, a friend, who is only taking two classes here after living in New York for like 6 or whatever decided to hang out with me today. I helped her get her school ID, and helped her enroll, parking, etc. We share one main thing in common, another friend who we both hold so closely to our hearts. Okay, but while spending the afternoon with her, epiphanies about relationships came about. Also that we both hate people.

Okay, so I don't have real experience with this, or any statistics to back this up, but this is just from what I've observed.

• People (females) who have sex during the honeymoon, or infatuation stage, are more than likely to stay in that stage than a normal amount of time. I feel like this contributes to girls being more heartbroken for whatever reason in the end; they are just behind the other counterpart in the cycle.
• If you start lowering your standards, just to be with someone, and you don't realize it: no bueno.
• If you have to schedule your friends around your fucking menstruation cycle so you can have an excuse to not have sex, while seeing a friend, not only are you crazy, you are a horndog. (like really can I not see you when you are not a bitch?)
• If you are serious about a relationship, then you shouldn't have to lie about anything pertaining that relationship to anyone. (unless it's a good surprise, like birthdays or whatever.)
• If you are questioning if something is wrong, it probably is.
• Sleeping with an emotionally unstable man does no favors to anyone.
• If you spend your days sulking, whining, and complaining about the relationship, you are probably going to be in the infatuation stage for a while.

Okay I know that most of that didn't really make sense, but most of the people I associate with these days are actually crazy. Do people even hear themselves when they speak? Do people not know how to take their own dirt? These days, apparently not.

year in review thus far

2013 has really been quite an adventure for me so far, and it's only been one week. Let's just recap of what has happened.

• Jan 1: Worked at 7 am, played a 3 hour game of Monopoly with my mother, for her birthday, got cleverly kidnapped to the other college town by my friends, snuck into a place I shouldn't be in, and pretty much had an episode, that could equal public embarassment.
• Jan 2: Worked at 7 am, after my episode the night before, went to a friend's house to watch a movie, and her mother backed into my car, which now looks more ratchet, since there is a hole on the side now.
• Jan 3: Worked at 7 am, couldn't get an estimate on my car, but I had a Which Wich Oreo shake. Watched the Time Traveler's Wife and got confused. (this day wasn't so eventful).
• Jan 4: Worked both jobs, and was pleasantly surprised by my boyfriend, so I wouldn't have to be alone in the most boring white walls known to man. I also got caught up on American Horror Story.
• Jan 5: Painted my room part 1
• Jan 6: Finished painting my room. Beautiful dinner, with one of the most beautiful people that I know.
• Jan 7: Work at 4:45, napped, finished The Fault in Our Stars
• That book is so wonderful, even though it makes me want to sit and cry because I can't even imagine keeping myself together if the person I so deeply loved had the life of Augustus Waters. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities.

I guess that's about it. I mean this beats last year, where all I did was work, and get lonely, but still. I've accomplished one resolution: Painting my room. I've also finished a book, so on to the next one. I plan on reading Looking For Alaska. John Green, you are becoming one of my favorite authors. 

2013.

odd numbered year probably equals an odd year, but then again, when isn't my life odd?

Here are some resolutions that I plan on doing that I probably won't accomplish. Yay for setting high goals, only to achieve less than half. That's life, you know.

• Exercise. Yes, this may be a shock to those of you who know me. I try my hardest to not have to do exercise. I don't like it. It's a waste of time for me, and there are other things to be doing, eating, etc. But, although I have a small figure, I am extremely out of shape. I need to be in shape if I want that federal "in the field" job. So, I will start with walks, and see where it takes me.
• I'm going to play music more. Whether it be my guitar or a piano, I'm going to play it.
• This is going to be strange, but the minimalist in me is strong right now, but I want to expunge my closet and start a new. I've spent about 3 years of my life buying different styles of clothes trying to decide what style I want. To be honest, I still don't know. But I know that my life would be easier if I had everything in black, white, gray, some tans/browns, and denim. That's it. I don't need too much color, I really don't now, but I'm going to make it simple. I mean, walking around in black on black, but in really cute styles, not just a t shirt and jeans. Does that make sense to anyone? I don't know what's come over me, but that's what I want. 
• Eat healthier, and cook more. This list is starting to look like my list from last year.
• Read more books. Start a serious collection.
• Save up at least $5000 for a down payment on a car that isn't a POS.

I can't really think of any, but those seem to be the big ones.

2012 in a nutshell.

I'm sitting in my room, drinking a jack and coke, alone, listening to city and colour, while my roommate is with her boyfriend. Kind of similar to last year's festivities. Any ways, I'm going to take this opportunity to review this year, because I'm bored as fuck.

• 2012 was the year where I tried new things. I'm not really going to delve into detail, but I made a full 180 from 2011. 
• This year, I went to my first concert, Bon Iver. I also went to my first music festival, Lollapalooza ( I should post part 2 eek). I also went to Taking Back Sunday.
• I took more school than I ever have before, and nearly killed myself. 
• I got a new style of glasses, and I also developed a new clothing style as well.
• I've seen more movies than I ever have, but mostly because I don't usually watch movies.
• I know how to drive a little more than my hometown. I'm what some would call a well seasoned driver.
• I went on a vacation. With my friends. This has never happened. It was costly, but totally worth it. I love Chicago and St. Louis.
• I've worked more than I ever have as well. I just noticed I upped my hours for next semester, so I'm a workaholic.
• I've discovered more music that isn't so...angry.
• I found myself a guy who isn't lamesauce, who loves me, and tolerates my craziness.
• I've become a more proficient blogger.
• I've read more books.
• I joined the iphone cult.
• I've made some new friends, and lost a few. I guess I'm only a capacity.

I've learned that in order to get what I want, I need to be patient, and it will eventually come my way. I also learned that I'm good at customer service, but I hate people. I've also learned not to give a flying fuck about anything or anyone and life moves on much much easier.

Murry Chrsms.

Well, Merry Christmas.

Let's just get this over with.

What a week I've had. I was so close to getting the grades I wanted, but didn't. I've accepted them, and have since moved on. I'm not done with Christmas shopping, and I don't know what to get a few people in my family. I'm kind of over the holidays. Call me a grinch, but I just want everything to be back to normal, without all this holiday hooplah. I'm kind of delirious because I'm hungry, but it's too late to eat, AND I don't have work until 10 a.m., so I'm gonna stay up late.But anyways, I had four days to spend with my boy, and oh goodness it was an adventure. Let's just get this over with.

By that, I mean the thing I have been dreading since I even thought about dating in high school. Meeting the parents. Mhmm, that's right. That's what I did during my Saturday afternoon. A few days before, I had told my parents that they were meeting him. They seem willing, but more curious. Let it be known that my parents are two of the most judgemental people you will ever meet. To anyone who knows my sweet, sweet mother, you don't know her. Behind closed doors, she is nothing compared to the smiling woman at the front. Moving on.

I freaked out, more than him, because
1. I had never done this before, or had gone through with something like this.
2. I was and still are not too close to my parents, and as a child, I wanted them out of my social life as much as possible.
3. I know my parents act different in front of people.
4. They are extremely conservative, and I am a liberal.
So, he dressed overly nice, in an argyle sweater, with a collared shirt underneath. (I hate argyle.) I told him what to wear, and he didn't. Because listening to me is just so hard. (okay side story, I told him I wanted to drink, and to get a coke, since he had liquor in his house, and he came out with beer, which I cannot drink. EARS, use them please.)I brought cupcakes, which I did not eat for various reasons, mainly because I am sick of them. They talked a little while I just sat in the middle in silence. My mom kept saying embarrassing things about me, and she kept giving me those looks. You know, those looks that say "I'm on to you, don't you try to hide something from me." It was scary. She kept asking him questions I knew he had to lie to, which made him uncomfortable. We both knew if that if my parents knew that he wasn't a devout catholic, and that he stayed the night (It's possible to not have sex when this happens okay, hold your horses), they would not approve. Anyways, it went well, according to them. I just wanted it to be over.

Next, my dad. Oh, my lovable father, who I am in denial that he is a compulsive liar. I love him, but we don't necessarily get along. I mean, it's hard to when someone calls you stupid for voting for one candidate, while he believes that the other candidate has said some spoken word or some shit. Anyways. He wan't even there when we got there, I don't know why I expected him to actually be on time, and you know, care. The house was a mess, with toys everywhere. I'm just thankful my brother decided to not be in his boxers all day, and he put on clothes. We sat in the living room, and played with my two year old brother, since all my other siblings were too shy. I also brought cupcakes, but everyone just avoided me like the plague. Anyways, eventually my dad came back, and he just asked those questions, that pretty much say "you're not good enough. I'm going to get real nosy, you better answer them right, or i'll judge the shit out of you." Well, he answered them well, and thank the good Lord my siblings were there to distract me. I basically just loved on my brother, and played games on the iPad with him. Then it got awkward because literally while I was speaking he just got up and left. He didn't even listen to a word I said to him. So he played with my brother some more, which made my brother so happy, that someone was playing with him. It was also super cute, and I died a little. Eventually, I made an excuse to leave, since I hadn't eaten all day and it was 5 p.m. I felt relived, less stressed, and I was instantly in a better mood, after I ate some Cane's.

The next day we went to the museum that's super close to his university, and we saw some pretty cool things, and I learned a lot about my boring old state that I never before. I also returned my textbooks, and I'm starting to expunge my room of unnecessary items. He also fixed my guitar amp, so I can hold off on buying a new one. I am just so happy with life right now. And hungry, my god I am always so hungry these days.