Incendiary

"People must of taken pity because I scraped together a fiver. I spent it on a Happy Meal for my boy and an extra large Fanta and we sat at a table in the corner of McDonald's. My boy was sulking and I couldn't blame him Osama I mean no boy should have to see his mum on the cadge like that. He wouldn't touch his Happy Meal and in the end I had to eat it for him."

I don't know why but that part really opened the character for me. A woman going insane upon the wreckage of herself, and the death of her family.

I'm terribly obsessed with this book.

Back to Black.

Current inspiration for the upcoming purgatory stage between summer and fall (class time ick), with a mood to match.

happiness.

I believe that this is something that everyone deserves, no matter what you have done or said in your life. For the past year, that's what I've found. Someone who make me happy in every which way, even when he's being an annoying little dick.

I try my best to be discreet about it, because no one wants to be the girl who is just obsessed with her boyfriend (cough cough almost everyone I know who is in a relationship). To be honest though, I'm not obsessed. We have a good understanding of things, and we are both too busy getting our lives on track to be obsessed with each other.

This month might be the only month where I get to see him more than two days a week, and actually it's just two days, and an evening. He's quiet here, and he even helps clean. He stays out of everyone's way. But, because it's a Monday, my roommates don't approve. They make him feel unwelcome. It's actually a pile of bullshit because I've dealt with them and their boyfriends for a while. They may not stay the night all the time, but it's because they live 5-10 minutes away. It's frustrating because they don't understand, and they just think I'm hopelessly in love, because I'm the one who has the shortest relationship so far in the house. Sorry I didn't meet my boyfriend my junior year of high school, and sorry I didn't meet my love in a retail store fairy tale. Everyone has their own time, and this is mine. They will never understand.

I also wish they would tell me whats up instead of posting passive aggressive tweets, or saying passive aggressive comments to my face. That just upsets me more. For example when you tweet that you forever wish you live alone, after I walked downstairs, I will like, comment, and RT that shit, because sorry I walked down and opened a couple doors. Ridiculous.

One even accidentally mention that they liked when I was alone, single, always home. No, sorry I am not going to sulk in my misery while being alone just so you can be happy. I'm sick of always doing what makes other's happy all the damn time. I try my best to be the best roommate/friend and I am just supposed to be there on call for them, while they are in love and hopeless and happy? I am so happy that they are happy, really. Everyone deserves it. But, I don't think someone's unhappiness should contribute to that.

I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY. I AM DONE PUTTING MYSELF LAST.

I am in love with my room. I am i love with my house. My roommates, eh. I think it's time to move on soon.